I decided to participate in Blogtober this year to put myself out there so you can get to know me better. I thought I’d start by opening up about my top 5 struggles with life.
This is a subject I’ve breached on this blog a few times, but not as much as I’d like. As a single parent its a subject that’s very personal for me, and it’s one of my biggest struggles. I know I’m not the only parent that feels this way. I’m always working hard to make sure my son is happy, healthy, and learning. But sometimes it feels like I’m doing enough. Am I at work too often? Is working on my blog taking away too much of our time together? At other times it seems like I’m doing too much. Does he have too many toys? Is he spoiled?
The fact is, that parenting is tough, and being a single parent is even tougher. Despite the fact that I have a ton of support, I’m still constantly stressed and second-guessing myself. That’s why parenting is the first of my top 5 struggles.
If you’re interested in more detailed information on life as a single parent, check out my post: Single Parenting: Expectations vs Reality.
I work a weird schedule at my day job. 10 days on, 4 days off. And while this is great on the weeks that I have a long weekend, the 10 days on are rough. I feel like I don’t spend enough time with my family, and my blog suffers for long stretches because sometimes I’m just to exhausted to work on it once I get home.
I just keep telling myself that this is why I started my blog, to gain some more financial freedom and eventually have to work less. It’s difficult right now, especially since I haven’t profited much yet, to keep the end goal in sight.
If you’re interested in spending less time at work, try reading The 4-hour workweek. I just finished it, and while it has clearly not solved all my problems, it’s really helped me get my priorities in line and find more time for myself.
I’m bad at making friends, and I’m bad at keeping in touch with the ones I do have. The truth is, I don’t like most people, so I tend to avoid the types of places that are conducive to making friends. This bothers me much less than how much I neglect the friends that I do have. I think it was about 3 months ago the last time I went out with one of my friends.
It’s not that I don’t want to see them, I love the friends that I do have. However, I’m busy all the time and my social anxiety is at an all-time high. Between work, parenting, and running this blog, I barely have time to breathe. So if you’re one of those friends that I’ve been neglecting, just know that I’m rooting for you and I miss you.
I get asked fairly regularly where I get my confidence. I like to give people motivating answers like ‘if you believe in what you’re doing, it’s easy to be confident’ or ‘just have faith in yourself’. These answers are great, and they are helpful. But in all honesty, my answer every time should be ‘fake it till you make it’.
I constantly second guess myself. At any given moment, you can find me having a minor (or sometimes major) panic attack about almost every decision I’ve made. I fight through it, and things usually work out. But it’s a constant battle I fight with myself.
I was never super thin, and at various times in my life, it bothered me. But for a long time I got comfortable in my own skin, I was healthy even if I wasn’t a size 2. Then I had a child, and it all went downhill. I had my son by c-section, and I was sure I’d lose the baby weight. Instead, I have a weird c-section pooch, stretch marks, and my metabolism is shot. I’ll be honest, I didn’t lose any of the baby weight, I’m heavier now than I was when I was pregnant. It kills me. I try to diet and exercise, but I am terrible at keeping up with it, and I never seem to get good results.
What do you struggle with?
Those are my top 5 struggles. I’m working hard on all of them, but I don’t have it all figured out. Let me know in the comments what you struggle with most, I’d love to get to know more about you too.