7 Ways to Be Assertive as an Introvert

Assertiveness can make a big difference in your communication skills. Being assertive can also help increase self-esteem, improve your workplace relations, and help reduce stress by allowing you to say no more confidently. As introverts, we can be at a disadvantage when it comes to practicing assertive behaviors. We, generally, spend less time interacting with others than our extrovert counterparts. While some introverts can be more naturally assertive than others, most of us have some catching up to do. That’s why I’ve put together this list of 7 ways to be assertive as an introvert.

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1. Know what you want

It’s much easier to ask for what you want when you know exactly what it is. Because introverts internalize most of our wants, needs, and emotions we can experience difficulty in putting these things into words. If this is something that you struggle with, you should take the time to ensure you can articulate exactly what you want.

2. Put on your Listening Ears

Admit it, you’ve rolled your eyes at this phrase at one point or another. I know I have, but the truth is it’s important. Ensuring you are actively listening when you communicate is key a key factor in being more assertive. To have strength and confidence when you communicate requires understanding the other party(ies) point of view. This will go along way when you are trying to be assertive as an introvert.

3. Don’t get Heated

Getting angry is counterproductive. Others tend to mimic your tone, and if you get easily frustrated you should take extra care to keep calm. You don’t want to undermine your goals by getting into an ultimately insignificant argument, it’s much easier to remain assertive when you’ve got a clear head.

4. Practice Saying No

Introverts have the unfortunate stereotype of being pushovers. This is because most of us would rather say yes and avoid a draining conversation or an argument. Saying no when you don’t have the time or the energy to take on anything else, is not only assertive but it’s healthy. Taking on too much, and not saying no when you need to, undermines your ability to get what you really want/need.

5. Stop Apologizing

Saying sorry when you’re wrong shows strength and acceptance. Saying sorry when you’re right is passive and weak. If you’re reading this, you want to be more assertive. The main reason people want to be more assertive is so they have the tools to express themselves effectively and improve their self-esteem. To reach that goal, you have to stop apologizing unless it’s truly called for.

6. Realize You Can’t Win Every Battle

Compromise is the name of the game. No matter how hard you fight, you won’t always get everything you want. But that doesn’t mean you have to walk away with nothing. Being confident and assertive means that you have the gumption to stay level headed even when you are fighting a losing battle, and to find a way to make an outcome that is amicable for you and the other party. Even if you have to make concessions that you don’t love, you should do so with tact.

7. Get Comfortable With Yourself

The key to being assertive is confidence. To have confidence you need to know who you are and accept yourself despite your flaws. Self-care practices can help tremendously with this. Meditating, exercising regularly, and eating healthy, will help you get comfortable in your own skin. This is biggest factor in gaining more confidence and learning to be assertive as an introvert.

Did you enjoy these tips on how to Be Assertive as an Introvert?

Have these tips helped you become more assertive, or do you know someone who these tips might help? Leave me a comment and let me know what you think, and don’t forget to share this post with your friends. And check out my post on Misconceptions about Introverts.

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28 thoughts on “7 Ways to Be Assertive as an Introvert

  1. Such a strong message to spread!!!

  2. Wow. Great read- i need to learn to say no for sure!

  3. Great advice! I definitely need to work on saying no more often (and also not apologizing all the time for things I had no control over)!

    1. These are my biggest pitfalls too, but its so rewarding when you start to overcome them.

  4. This is absolutely all on point. As an introvert myself, I can tell you these are tried and tested keys to push through and succeed!

    1. Absolutely! Thanks so much for reading.

      1. These are really good points. Especially with when to say no where most people are having a hard time doing.

    2. These are great tipa for being assertive as an introvert. Saying no is the hardest thing sometimes but also the best thing.

  5. Wow, I can say that I embody some of the personality traits of an introvert. I have to be more assertive because I can say sorry a lot, always yes, and can be angry at times.

    1. Yes, but knowing what you need to work on is half the battle, and it makes it that much easier to overcome.

  6. I am guilty of this and SO need to work on it. Great advice! Thank you for sharing!

    1. You got this! I’m glad you liked the advice, thank YOU for reading.

  7. Thanks for the tips, it’s always about
    finding your place in the world, your own
    I..

  8. People always try to change introverts by making it seem like being an introvert is a bad thing. This post shows that there’s nothing wrong with it, and that we can still accomplish things and be assertive as introverts. Thank you!

    1. Yes. Yes. Yes. I agree 100%. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert.

  9. I did enjoy yet I may know this on the back of my head but hey, its a great reminder too. Thanks for this article

  10. I am an introvert, and these tips are so useful! Especially number 6. Thanks for sharing

  11. I’d have to say the biggest thing for me is saying no. I find I’m way to kind to be offering my time and energy to others

  12. Great message to share. Saying no is definitely something I need to work on!
    Keep up the great blog!
    Amy
    http://www.themoodhoover.com

  13. This is a fantastic list of tips! Thanks for sharing this.

  14. Such nice post. Introverts are often misunderstood as rude people but they are not.

  15. Great advice, and advice I need to keep reminding myself all the time. Saying no is not always easy, but it sure makes life easier.

  16. I definitely struggle with confidence and knowing what I want (enneagram type 6 anyone?). It’s something I need to work on so I can be more sure of myself!

  17. Great advice, I need to follow some of these!

  18. I really need to try 4-6. It’s really hard as an introvert. Everyone tries to run all over you just because you are. sometimes i am able to assert myself, but others people don’t take me serious.

  19. I could really connect with your points. Not only for introverts, but these points also suit everyone out there.

  20. I’m an extrovert but I agree with all of these specially no. 1. I have a few introvert friends who just prefers to be quiet even though I can feel that they want to do or say something but I am not sure what is stopping them from being vocal about it.

    1. These are some great tips!

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